Every story has its end.

As my journey is coming to an end, I'm finding myself completing a circle. I'm sitting at the houses of those people who once seemed so strange, so unfamiliar. Those people who I couldn't understand a word of what they said. Now I understand them, now I am comfortable with them, now I am their friend. It took me awhile to get to this point, breaking out of my comfort zone to get to know the people. Overcoming the difficulties of learning a new language. Once going to bed every night with a headache, because I just couldn't understand anyone. There were many times where I just couldn't stand to be around anyone. Not even my self. Having to overcome some of the lowest feelings I've ever had in my life. Having to do it alone, because noone here possible could understand how I was feeling. Sometimes my low moments would last weeks. I've been to places with myself, I hope to never visit again. Many times I just felt like giving up. I'm glad I didn't. I grew into such a stronger person. These moments helped me grow into a better person. The low moments made my high moments feel that much higher. That is how I kept with it. Since I had more high moments then low moments, and thanks to the wonderful people for just being there, I did it.

Throughout my 2 years here, I have met so many great people, who have taught me so much. Things about a different culture. About caring. About myself. About hope. About pain. About life. About living poorly. About the joys of living the simple life.

These people have found a special spot my heart.

It just tares me apart thinking about leaving here. I have had, hands down, the most life-changing and humbling experience of my whole entire life. Possibly the only experience I will have like this. Is it really coming to an end? Looking through my hard times, I really had it made here. There were many times I would say with my best friend Amy, "we're living the dream!". Many years from now this place, this experience will have certainly felt like a dream.
It's possible that never again I will have this. Feeling like a rockstar. Having everyone in your community call you by your name. People just so excited to see you. People who just love you to pieces and bend over backwards to make you comfortable. People who just give so much, even though they have so little to give.

In the United States, I will be just another American walking on by. Walking by people unfamiliar people on the street and not receiving any attention.

Things I am looking forward to most about returning to the States:

~ seeing all my friends & family
~ yummy food
~ sitting on a toilet and not worrying about what is below
~ not having to flick cockroaches off the toilet seat
~ concerts
~ XM radio to be introduced to new music
~ sleeping in past 6 (not waking up with the roosters)
~ having options of things to do for fun
~ not drinking out of a plastic bag
~ driving a car
~privacy
~seeing snow/4 seasons
~sleeping without a mosquito net
~a house without mice, bats, tarantulas, cockroaches, scorpions, etc. ~couches (I will miss my hammock though!)

~watching movies on something bigger then 9 inches
~having the freedom to leave when I want to leave
~having options of stuff to do "for fun"
~not feeling alone at night
~speaking in english
~having conversations outside the weather & corn

Things I'm worried about:

~staring at people; gringos and/or Latinos (wishing they were my Salvadorean friends, and/or wanting to speak Spanish with them)
~being socially awkward (talks about Ipod apps, politics, talks about recent movies and TV shows will be way over my head)
~forgetting how to speak Spanish
~not feeling famous when I walk around somewhere. I'm just another American walking the streets
~annoying people with how much I will talk about El Salvador, and being limited with what I will say because I don't want to be too anoying or lose anyones attention
~being frustrated when I see someone waste food
~anxiety attacks in the super market (the produce section of a super market in the states is pretty comparable to the size of a super market here)
~ feeling frustrated when someone complains~ not having appropriate table manners (using itensils incorrectly, throwing food on the floor [some animal will eat it], setting my plate on my lap instead of the table, etc.)
~gaining 50 pounds
~not finding a job
~not knowing how to operate recent technology
~and missing the hell out my community, and having desires to be back there again :(

Next week I'm heading to Belize to see my family. From there I am flying to Chile, and will spend the summer traveling throughout South and Central America.
By the end of it all, I will have seen some of most beautiful things this world has to offer (ice capped mountains in Chile, the beautiful beaches of Colombia, the enormous waterfalls in Argentina, the Amazon forest and the Incan ruins in Peru, etc. I will have many stories to share about my travels, about my journey. However, there is one journey, I will not be able to explain in a story. A journey that can't be put into words. A journey that no one will never be able to understand. This is the journey that I had with myself during my 2 years in a developing country. What I found on this journey... I will take with me for the rest of my life. Thank you to everyone in the small village of Calderitas for being there with me on this journey. A tiny community filled with people with enormous hearts.

Peace Corps El Salvador. July 19th, 2010 - April 10th, 2012
The road less taken (but more people should...)
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