My Yoga Mat is My Church

Traveling has started out as a way for me to know the unknown; to be blown away by the beauty of the world’s jungles, deserts, canyons, and mountains. My journey across three continents has turned more and more into a journey into the self. My motive for traveling went from wanting to know the unknown to wanting to know the knower. Who are we?  What is the meaning to this strange, bizarre yet fascinating existence? 

Rishikesh - along the banks of the Ganges

All of my paths have led me to India; a place that took my idea of self, consciousness, and ‘our true human potential’ to another level. It was there where I was sent to a place to the depths of my being; far beyond my mind, my senses, and my current understanding of the world.

India; a land full of extremes; inspiring and frustrating, clear and confusing, holy and unreliable, calm and disorderly, chaotic and peaceful, mysterious and familiar. All you can do is 'go with the flow' and embrace India's unpredictability. And when you least expect it you are placed in moments full of power to alter the way you view the world and your place in it.

A man selling flowers for the Ganga Aarti - the nightly act of placing prayer candles  in the river as part of the worship

In the resurrection of my memory I often find myself along the banks of the Ganges River sipping a cup of chai. It is there I sit, admiring the people that have all gathered to this holy river.

People all around;

     Washing away their sins.

     Filling their empty jugs with drops of salvation

     Rinsing impurities out of their colorful saris.

     Splashing innocence on to each other

          

I sit back and watch dead bodies cremate over an open fire; the smell of burnt flesh lingering in the air.

Streets are shared by both the people and the cows. Barefooted children with their arms outstretched begging for change. Monkeys jump from rooftop to rooftop taking my bag of bananas with them. Hari Krishna, Hari Hari … the sound of the flute filling people’s hearts with love, peace, and joy.  Swamis are joined together chanting in the ashrams  Ohm namah shivaya… Monks sit cross-legged in a temple; prayer beads in one hand…

All of these sights and sounds are slowing fading…

   But of course, a part of India will always remain embedded in my heart.

India, and all of my prior paths in life have all led me back home; to that of my true nature.

India may have helped show me this place, but I don’t need to go 7,000 miles away to get back there.

   The truth is not found along the banks of the Ganges River.

   Eternal love isn’t just a concept in the holy books.

   The wisdom isn’t only in the words spoken from the Dalai Lama

   The answers aren’t inside the Golden Temple.

  The divine isn’t buried under the heaps of snow in the depths of those towering snowcapped Himalayans.

Yeah, it’s there. But it’s here too.

It’s everywhere you go and in everything you see.

It’s the only constant in this ever so constantly changing world.
It's the divine energy that flows through the hearts of every being on this planet. 

The place that was once so brightly lit in India is slowly beginning to dim as I enter back into a busy society. A society that is always about quick satisfaction, instant relief, and distractions. A place that has people constantly looking outward for something that can only be found inward. All it takes is attention and intention. All it takes is body and breath.

Since returning home, I have begun going to church every day…

On my yoga mat; a place where I’m not just told to be a good person, but a place that turns me into one.  Through the practice of yoga, the mind, body and self are stilled.  Each movement sheds a layer of your egocentric existence allowing you to soar in to the depths of your being.  It opens the doors for you to return to you true nature; Yoga is, by definition, a ‘communion with God.’

Each breath in spirals me inward

Closer to my true source

With each breath out, I shed a layer;

A layer of what life has piled on top of me through the years

Layers of distractions, expectations, judgments, and attachments

Bit by bit.

Layer by layer

I’m pulled in closer…

Religion has never told me to empty the mind or to see the human body as a means of connecting to and coming to know the divine; Therefore, I have moved my church from that of inside an institution to that on my yoga mat; Why must I listen to someone else’s experiences, when I can have my own?

At the end of each practice,

I pray. Or rather, I listen. I meditate. I go within and I wait for the answers.

Because how can you talk to something that is already inside of you?

My ego always tries to interfere,

     Thoughts always try to interrupt

That relentless chattering of thoughts

I’m not them. I’m the awareness behind them

Those thoughts are not judged, changed, or suppressed

They are observed and I allow for them to continue on their journey in this universe.

Anxiety slips out of my body

Fear is replaced by love.

I free myself from imaginary needs and desires

I’m cut loose from those identifications I have made of myself

And those that others have made for me.

I’m not an American. I’m not a teacher. I’m not 30.

I’m not Jamie.

I’m not that.

I’m not my thoughts, or my identities.

I’m an illumined soul;

A being of light.

I am that.

The chains that have kept me tied to this physical world are now set free allowing me to soar to the depths of this magical, enchanted place of constant bliss and eternal love that lies deep within.
A place more magnificent and gigantic than our small minds can comprehend.

I am that. You are too.

     Eternal magnificent light beings

     Omnipresent souls floating about in this interconnected web in an infinite universe

         

Yoga helps define myself internally with a higher entity. We are all just manifestations. We don't know it with our rational mind but we can feel it intuitively. It’s about disciplining the mind, so you feel more in tune.   Yoga helps me remove layers of my egocentric existence so there is more space for the world around me; other people, animals, plants, and of course God.

This is what yoga and meditation mean to me.

 It is not turning the temperature up to 100 degrees while listening to some new age spirituality music. It is not about pushing your body so it can stretch further than the girl next to you.  It is not about holding on. You have to let go to receive it all.

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I drink kale smoothies

I’m a vegetarian… 90% of the time.

I recite mantras to my favorite Hindu deity.

I can’t shut the hell up about India.

I wear mantra beads

And I have a lotus flower tattoo.

On the outside I’m that stereotypical ‘spiritual’ kind of person

On the inside I am you. You are me.

What spirituality means to me is that…. it’s not about me. 

It’s about you.  I do what I do for you. I am what I am for you.

Because the deeper my spirituality, the brighter that light, the stronger the energy is that connects my souls to yours. Your interests are linked with my interests. Your happiness and suffering I take on as my own.

Life is a series of trials and errors.  I never imagined I’d be this ‘yogini’ kind of gal, but it’s the best lifestyle I have found that has worked for me to bring the most amount of inner peace so that I have more tolerance, patience, and compassion for the world around me.

I’m not saying everyone should meditate and do yoga (although it would solve a lot of issues we have with ourselves and others) It’s about finding what works for you; to help you be the best person that you can be. It’s about finding a path of passion and authenticity to help connect you and remember where you came from.  Take a walk in the woods; with the only sound being that of your own breath and the twigs crunching below your feet. Play in your garden. Walk barefoot in the grass. Watch a sunset. Dance. Take time for yourself to help you feel more centered and grounded so that you can live more outside of yourself. Do whatever it is to help you live more fully in the present moment. This is where the truth resides.

Be good to one another. It’s not just about being kind, but being genuinely interested in one another’s life. Be open to listen with an open mind and an open heart to what the other has to say about their philosophies, ideas, dreams, and interests.

If you do want to give yoga and meditation a try- begin by treating these ancient practices with an open mind and open heart. Most importantly; don’t focus on the end result. Be here now. Don’t expect your mind to be disciplined overnight. You certainly aren’t going to get anywhere if you think life is meant to be perfect. If you think happiness is the goal then you are in for a disaster as well. It’s about going with the flow of the universe. Ride the wave where it takes you (Thank you Pearl Jam)

The minute you stop looking for something and slowdown is when you will receive it. Slow down and simplify. Overcome your fear of self & go inward :)

Life’s been a journey. I will still continue to fight those demons, dance with the devil, and fail many more times than I’d like.  I will continue to take loads of risk and set myself up for some serious challenges.  Because I know all of that is what makes you grow.  What I have learned most about life, I have learned through my challenges, my struggles, my pain, my failures, and my own intuition.

On that note, Next week, I will be participating in a 10 day silent meditation retreat.
Ah, wish me luck!!

=)

“What you are, the world is. Without your transformation, there is no transformation of the world.”

-        Jiddu Krishnamurti