Christmas in the campo

Christmas is a really strange time here. Mainly, because it doesn't by any means, feel like Christmas. There is no snow, no Christmas trees, no Christmas cookies, no presents, nor christmas lights. No one even says Feliz Navidad. Although the holidays are often a hard time for me, especially because I'm not near my loved ones, I've managed to have a great time here in the campo. Christmas is a time of many fireworks. All day, and all night. Unfortunately, not so much the fun ones. Mainly the ones that just blow up and sound like gun shots. There are fireworks in the hands of about every child here beginning at the age of 2. Many of these fireworks are thrown at each other, as the fireworks blow up just feet from their faces.


(World Map project)

Christmas is also a time of lots of drinking, which is done so in private. My friend had a dance at her house. No one actually had a drink in their hand , but many of them were drinking. It is a very secretive thing here, especially for the women. They will drink in private, and then come back outside with the rest of the party.



Some guys here just drink and drink and drink, until they are passed out on the street. These guys give drinking such a negative label. Some people just don't understand that you can "socially drink" . There was a guy passed out outside my house the next morning, that I had to walk over to get to the bathroom. He was there until 5 that afternoon. At one point we had to move his unconscious body to a shady area.

Despite the drunken guys passed out in the streets, and the concern I have for the many little kids with dangerous fireworks, Christmas is a time of the year that is muy alegre. Everyone is so happy that it is Christmas, especially the children. Perhaps even happier then some American children, who are upset they didn't get that certain toy they wanted. It certainly is a humbling experience for me. Next year, I will eat my fair share of Christmas cookies.
Anyway, I had a very nice visit with my sister-in-law Greta. We went to Antigua, Guatemala for a few days. I hiked my first active volcano, and even got to roast a marshmallow on top! We went to Semuc Champey, which consists of many natural pools, and waterfalls. It is said to be the most beautiful place in the country. I don't really know much of Guatemala, but because of the neat, rare blue-greenish color of the water and towering jungle walls all around, I find that statement very easy to be true. It was fun hiking there, and entering all the caves. Swimming through a cave with a candle in one hand was a pretty neat experience. Cliff jumping inside was super fun too! The only downfall to our trip would be when our "7 hour" ride from Semuc Champey to Antigua, turned out to be 17 hours. The shuttle had an issue with the tire and the driver insisted on driving even though our tire was basically falling off. He wouldn't pull over, until we basically yelled at him to do so. We waited at a gas station for about 5 hours before another shuttle came for us. It didn't turn out to be such a bad experience, because we really got to know some great people from all over the world, one being a former PCV who was from the first group of volunteers in Guatemela from the sixties.

So all the volunteers here are in this waiting game. All the volunteers in Honduras are being removed from the country due to safety and security concerns. They are interviewing all of us as well regarding how safe we feel here. To my understanding, If enough people say they feel unsafe there is a possibility that DC will close the program here too, which I hope that isn't the case. As there are some days, I yearn for the comfortable life; something other then cornflakes for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Watching a movie on a screen bigger then 7 inches sounds great. A house free of rats, cockroaches, spiders and scorpions... now we are talking. Speaking in English every day! Having conversations that go beyond the weather, and what is happening in the community. Washing machines! It all sounds great, really. However, I am not ready to leave here yet. I feel like there is so much I can do still, and that I want to do. I don't want to cheat my community, and these wonderful people. Who knows when they will get another Peace Corps volunteer?! I've come to do 2 years, and I planned on being here until September. I would be deeply saddened to leave here so abruptly. I guess we will just wait and see.

Some photos from Dia del Indio: (A day where all the kids are dressed in indigineous clothing, and an afternoon is spent running aroudn smashing eggs filled with confetti and glitter over peoples heads. This happened for about 4 hours. It got old after about 20 minutes. As I was continually smacked over the head with these eggs, I kept reminding myself...cultural experience Jamie.

Dinero, dinero, dinero. Rapido, rapido rapido!

If you are planning on visiting me, please do not read on.

So after 16 months into my service, I had my first encounter with the gang here (outside of a seeing a shot gang member on the road). Last weekend a group of volunteers here left from San Salvador to head to Carnaval (a huge party here every year that brings a ton of different music groups and people, as well as the gangs.). We were on a bus heading here, when the bus driver decided to pull over and pick up 2 guys with bandanas around their neck. These guys came on with guns and knives. (Mind you: I did not want to see what was going on, nor did I want them to know I was a gringa, So I turned to look out the window so I didn't have to look at them with a hand to my face, and stuck my hand out with money to give them. ) My friends later told me exactly what happened. It was relatively quick and painless. The whole thing took about 5 minutes, even though it felt like a half an hour.

So I started the world map project in the school with a group of kids. As much as I'm alittle nervous they might mess it up, I think it's better to do it as a group. The kids will always remember what countries they painted, and it gives them something fun to do. The map is near the entrance to the school and will be 5x10 feet. I'll be sure to send some pictures. We are using the grid method, where every block is something different. We just finished drawing it, in which I'm quite impressed and we hope to get started on the painting within the next few days. Next week I'm doing a week long computer class for the 9th graders who are going on to High School. The rest of the school is on vacation until the end of January. Busy busy busy. I'm excited to have Greta, my sister-in-law come in a few weeks. It will be a much deserved vacation to Antigua, Guatemala. Woohoo!

Photos

Celebrating Dia de BICENTENARIO

Making tortillas with the nina Juana (aunque no puedo!)

2nd place - torneo de San Esteban (missing the other 7 players)

Dia de muerto

Baseball!

Sugar cane..

my host family. One hug from them and I forget why I'm in a bad mood.

Suchitoto

Dental Charla with Kindergarten

Simplify your life.

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain.
It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Muhammad Ali.

It's funny how some things in your life you can remember so clearly. And other things, like what I did yesterday, just seem to slip away from you. One of those memories is receiving a quote book from my 4th grade boyfriend, at the rollerskating rink at my 10th birthday party. That Muhammad Ali quote still remains with me to this day.

15 months... I'm saying wow "Que rapido! This time is sure flying!" , but instead I'm really thinking... "Wow, is that it? 15 months?! Really?" All of those emotions, those moments, those thoughts, this incredible journey I am having with myself just couldn't possibly add up to 15 months.

So to some of you , this blog may come off alittle strange. For those of you PCVs who have experienced at least 15 months in a devloping country.... You may relate. I'm slowly getting back in touch with myself and appearing "normal" again. I felt for awhile there i was spending so much energy trying to fit in, impress the people and force relationships upon them. I've been trying to be someone other then myself. I've even picked up some of their habits that once drove me nuts; such as pointing with my lips, asking how much EVERYTHING costs, that "chchch" noise, not being specific at all, eating pan dulce before and after dinner, and yelling at dogs, "chucho afuela, ahhh!" How can I put this, other then, I've got back in touch with myself. I am myself. I do what I enjoy. I don't care what other people think. I'm strange. I'm different. And I love that. I love being the different guy on the street. Everyone knows me, and a good chunk about me (due to how fast gossip spreads when it is something regarding the gringa- Everyone knew I was sick with amoebas within 1 day, or when I got stitches, getting back from the hospital that night with many "Oh, we've heard") I've gotten past the annoyances of being the only gringa, and have grown to absolute love it. I'm a rockstar.

I'm really begin to open myself up to the people and let them in to my life. There are still some things that are better left unsaid; like how much money I have saved up in the States, or how much I love laying on the couch and being big spoon with my parent's dog. Living here is just a game of figuring things out. I'm still trying to figure things out here, but I do know one thing for sure is that the people adore me for just being myself. So that is who I will give them. "Yeimy LinBacher" They comment on how happy and content I am. I may tell them the occasional lie about how much something costs, or of a headache I have, just because I want some time alone, However when I tell them how much I love it here, it is the truth. (even with those "oh my gosh, this is quite possible the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life" moments).

As I spend every single night with a group of my Salvadorean friends, I think, "these people hardly have anything, but yet they don't really complain." Their education may not go beyond 4th grade, but they have been some of the best teachers I have ever had.

Out of all the reasons I joined Peace Corps, "to make friends" was not on that list, I'm not even sure if it was a thought at all. I wanted to do development work in a country with people who are less off. I wanted to better myself. I wanted to live like the people in a developing country. Making friends is an added Peace Corps bonus, and now that it happened, I feel like the friends and the great relationships I have with the people are the best part of my peace corps experience.

I still have almost a year to go, but the thought about leaving here pops into my head at least one time a day, sometimes 5. I know when the day comes it will be bittersweet, but just thinking of that day, kind of tares me apart inside.

Read another blog below if you haven't already! (Yes I know, 2 blogs in a week! A new record.)

Ay, no

I would like to dedicate this blog to my zoo exhibit that I had in my house last week. Let's begin with Mr. Chinche. (but a pretty one at that!)

Frogs

The mothman

Tarantulas


Scorpions



and not to mention the million mosquitoes.
And of course the "what the hell are you" insect that I have falsely mistaken for a small hummingbird.

Come visit my zoo. Free admission...
All visitor who enter must be wearing 100% Deet bugspray.

Just a few more months left of rainy season :) I will certainly not miss my pets.

So other then my zoo, and a series of hospital visits in this past month; [getting stitches in my knee, and getting sick with amoebas and stomach infections] I feel like I've had a pretty great month.

The computers finally arrived! (without all the important programs - ie; word, powerpoint... but pocito a pocito is how we work around here) The school is working on getting those programs put on the computers, so I can begin teaching computer class.


My softball team won 2 games in a row! Our first few games we lost 90-15... Now we are just awesome!
I will be getting some gloves donated from the states, so I imagine we will become alot better once my team learns how to use gloves.

This week I will be doing my first charla (educational talk). The topic is "stress-management", where I will be more or less teaching yoga and meditation to a group of youth.

Next Thursday, I will be in the United States of America!!

One down, one to go.

So yes, I am aware I haven't written in my blog in awhile. Well, for a few reasons: Some punk stole my internet stick, so my internet access is limited. For two, everything is normal for me. I've been here over a year; this is my life. Spanish is my language. These are my people (even though I don't look, think, or eat the same as them). El Salvador is my home, & everything is normal. The roosters waking me up at 5:00 a.m. Electricity going out for days at a time. The rain coming down so hard that I get wet in my house. Spanish, spanish, spanish (is it possible that I'm losing my English?). The constant killing of cockroaches, scorpions, and spiders in my house. The mosquito bites all day long. The continued failed attempts to kill the rats in my house. The heat. The constant sweating. Introducing them to the food I make here and seeing the confused look on their faces. Washing my clothes by hand. Walking 2 hours to go somewhere, when there is no transportation.. Riding in the back of a pick up with 40 other people, when we do have transportation. Dirty feet. Going to the bathroom in a outhouse full of flies, cockroaches, spiders, and alot of "what the hell is that thing" insects. Freezing cold bucket baths that just take the breath out of me. Having the same conversations over and over. (Are you washing your clothes? Yes, I am washing my clothes. It looks like it's going to rain today. I hope it rains, its so hot. Your family? They went back to the states. Aw, when did your family leave? 6 months ago. When are they going to visit again? Next year sometime. Your mom is so young. Yeah. (Thinking, she is actually the same age, it just looks like a 15 year age difference.) WHAT! you DON'T eat tortilla? (With the thought of she's going to die... and before I know it they are back at my house giving tortillas.) Clearing up their perceptions about the United States & answering their bizarre questions; Yes, there are flies in the U.S., Yup, thunder and lightning too. Yes, husbands cheat on their wives up there as well. No, I don't know your cousin Carlos who lives in Los Angeles. STILL clearing up their understanding as to why I am here. (No matter how many assembleas I talk in to the whole community, no matter how many conversations I have with them, they still don't understand why I would want to be here, let only voluntarily.) So you are here doing credit for your University? You must be getting paid a lot of money to live here? Your family lives in San Salvador? Explaining to them, how I want to be here. I want to help them. I want to live like them. In one month I live off enough money that is equivalent to what an average person makes in 3 days of work in the U.S. I refuse to dip into my American savings. I want to live poorly like them; it's part of the experience. In my best attempt to explain all that, they still don't possibly "get it". Why would she want to be here? When all of my family left me and risked their life to go up there.

So yes, if you haven't figured this out already, things slowly get down around here. Slowly but surely. The computer company told us "this week" about 4 weeks ago, so yup still waiting on them. I'll keep everyone posted once we receive them. I recently won a grant to get sports equipment for the school & community. I'm going to my buy baseball gloves for my softball team. (So maybe we won't lose 80-15 anymore. They are starting to practice with the 2 gloves that we do have. They put the left handed glove on their right hand and look at me with the confused look of, "Ok Jamie, now what?".) I also plan to get basketball hoops for the school, and more jump ropes. Once we get the equipment, I hope to help with gym class, and introduce new sports to them.

So I'm heading back to that magical, mysterious place up north, called the United States of America next month (September 22-October 10th!). I'm super excited. It's a weird feeling telling my neighbors here that I will be visiting friends that live 15 minutes away from their family in the states that they haven't seen in over 15 years.

I'm super excited just thinking about all the yummy foods I'm going to eat and the kind of things I plan to do. For example; Back massage, Drive a car if i still remember how to, spend possibly a full day in Target, fish sandwiches and chocolate milkshakes at the Fence, eat Thai food at least once a week, Smores, Blue Moon & Magic Hat, hike to the top of a mountain, ride both my road and mountain bike, put all my hand washed stretched out clothes in the dryer, PIZZA, Waffles, lie on carpet with my dog Maggie, Sushi, take a hot shower at least 2 times a day - Just to mention a few things I will be enjoying ;)

Things I imagine that are going to happen: having a panic attack when I enter a giant grocery store, having everyone telling me how fat I am, getting frustrated when people complain and waste food, not feeling famous (walking around a town and having no one acknowledge me or know my name), feeling overwhelmed how fast moving people are, sleeping 13 hours a night, forgetting that it actually is enforced to obey road signs while driving, gaining another 15 pounds, not having people talking to me ALL the time & potentially having a great amount of alone time, talking about El Salvador every moment of the day, people being completely annoyed that I talk about it so much, and missing the heck out of El Salvador and the people here, but absolutely loving spending time with all my family and friends from the USA!!

38 days!

(Photo #1: Bringing water from miles away from our lake. (No, actually not! But this is what I would be like if I was a PC volunteer in my site 8 years ago) Photo #2 The Park in La Palma, Chaletenango -so beautiful there, Picture # 3 A group of girls during gym class, playing make believe stuff with their trash, Picture #4 - A group of Kindergartners playing in the jungle gym. Photo #5 - Participating in a "marcha" to stop gold mining here in El Salvador, Photo #6- La Palma again, Photo #7- Some 5th grade students and myself (my favorite grade!) The last photo is of my softball team! Can you guess which one I am??)

I'm never alone. I'm alone all the time.

To all those generous and incredible people that helped donate to my project, thank you. No matter how small of a donation you gave, your hearts are huge. Because of your help, I will be able to buy 15 computers for the school in my community. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted and send individual thank you's with photos.

So rainy season has arrived, and how I've long awaited this! However, there are some downsides, like all the creepy crawlers that invade my house. Let me name a few by beginning with...
Scorpions! They like to hide in mysterious places, like my clothing and soccer cleats.
Beetles - They fly around inside my house and I always confuse their loud, obnoxious sound for bumblebees. Anyway, they fly around my house, hit the wall, fall, and shortly thereafter die. Then swarms of ants later invade my house to take care of the dead beetle.
Cockroaches - Pues, at least now I don't have to worry about them biting me while I'm going to the bathroom. Oh the joys of having an indoor bathroom! And a bathtub too! I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve such luxuries.
Tarantulas - Fortunately, I haven't encountered any in my house. But yes, they are around town too.
Rats, frogs, flies, more frogs, and how could I forget, mosquitoes. I'm not leaving this country without getting Dengue at least twice. The mosquitoes here actually seem to prefer the taste of deet.
That's just some of my housemates... The rest just look strange and weird, and I don't know the names of them.



Rainy season is also the time where electricity comes and goes as it pleases. Sometimes for days a time.

The perk of rainy season = reading and taking siestas in my hammock without feeling guilty about it. It also means more alone time! It's funny just how little alone time I have, but yet I feel so alone. The only gringa. Just imagine. Dear community, I don't look like you. I don't talk like you. I don't think like you. You don't understand me. I don't understand you. (I'm not saying this because of the language barrier, either.) Some days I feel like I just don't have anyone. Noone understands what I'm going through on my bad days. I have no one to talk to that could somewhat understand me. But every time I'm falling in a slump, I leave my house before it gets too bad. I travel around the village; go to the school, visit my awesome host family, receive hugs from my 2 year old host brother and sister, watch novellas with friends, drink coffee with the elders, play soccer with the little kids, climb mango trees with the third cycle students, etc. I return back to my house with the feeling from having no one to the feeling of having 780 people. We come from 2 completely different worlds & we will never understand each other... But Dear Community, I love you. Thanks for accepting me.

So according to the "emotional path of a Peace Corps volunteer", one begins feeling "normal" again by month 12 (next month)... Everything around me is normal. This is my life. This is my campo. And these are my people; even though they don't look, sound, or think like me. Everything is normal to me. Except myself. It sounds ridicolous, but it's true... when I'm having a "normal day" I feel extremely high. Due partly to all those really low moments we all come across. Those low moments make the high feel that much higher.

So what else is going on?
I spent a few days in Roatan, Honduras.... SCUBA DIVING! Awesome!

Lately, I've been teaching a TON of English to kids. Since EVERY single child from 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade wants to learn English, the school fit clase de ingles into their daily agenda. We'll see how long the excitement of English class lasts. The kids are actually telling me I need to give more exams! What 4th grader actually wants to take a test? These kids rock!

I'm also teaching exercise class to a few ladies. If only the ladies in my community were as motivated to exercise as the kids in my community are to learn English, they will be a little less gorda. The motivation is lacking, but the excuses certainly are not.

We had our first softball game, in which we lost (90 to 30... mas o menos) ... but I think we have some great potential. I'm hoping to win this grant that I applied for, so I can provide my team with baseball mits. Dropping the ball seems to be the main problem here.

That's it for now. I promise not to wait 2 months before writing another blog.
I booked my flight! September 22nd until October 10th. I'm going to the United States of America! Hip hip hooray!

The only one who will change will be yourself

Month 9 ...

The month they warned us about. The month where "the plague of the campo" begins. Frustrations, loneliness, struggles. The feelings of having no one, the frustrations of how slowwwwwwwwwwly things get done , the feeling of not being productive.. How can I possibly convince my community to change their views on things, and to try new things, when they have been doing the same thing their whole lives.

It's hard having low moments in the campo - because you really have to get through it by yourself (being miles away from the closest gringo, lack of internet, and living with 700 other people who just don't understand me.)

Changing my mind, and changing the way I look at things and people, usually help me get out of my slumps. It is so easy to stay by myself in my hammock, but I refused to do that. Getting out of my house helps every time. Exercise. Talk. Learn new things. Meet new people.

I also decided to take the happiest moment from each day and write them in my journal: These were some of my moments from last week:
The 3 years old, smarty-pants, kid here finally said, "Salud Jamie!!" He's been saying "Salud Gringa!" for the past 7 months.

• A month ago a 5th grader here fell out of a tree climbing for mangoes. She is in a cast up to her stomach, and is basically stuck in a bed for the next month. I made a card for everyone in her class to sign, and also gave her beads and thread for her to make bracelets. She was extremely happy. Yo tambien!
• Seeing Julietta Vonega in concert! If anyone has this, can they burn me a copy?!
• Receiving the best hugs I ever had in my life from my 2 year old host sister ever time I see her.
  

So during some of the lowest moments I had in my entire life this past month, the thought of leaving this place, never once popped in my mind. Okay, well maybe once, but only with the thought of "no way, that's just crazy". Those moments of isolation and frustration are normal for every volunteer. It's frustrating, because I don't know if the people in my campo will truly understand me or know who I am. I'm not even sure a lot of them understand why I am here. Nonetheless, they are some of the most genuine and caring people I have ever met.

No matter how poor these people are; they will always lavish me with food during each visit. They will send their 5 year old daughter up the tree to bring me down a bag full of mangoes. They will send their 9 year old son to the tienda to bring me back a coffee.. They will ask me if I know their cousin Jose that lives in Michigan. They want to get to the bottom of it; 27 year old girl without a boyfriend or children? How?!! They really don't ask, "So how are you going to help my community?", It's usually "How are your parents doing?", "Are you going to come to this event with me?", or "When are you comingg back to visit?"

Through all my frustrations & feelings of loneliness, I am still thankful everyday to be living in a beautiful country with incredible people. I love these people, and I am just not ready to leave(whatever it is I'm looking for, it's not complete - I'm not done here yet) What it comes down to is there really isn't any other place I would rather be right now. So I just need to embrace it, cause I know it will be over before I know it.


As a side note, I would like to say THANK YOU to all of those who are contributing to my computer project here! I would give individual thanks, but I can't see who is donating until afterward.

As another side note, they began working on my bathroom. I think i may be the only peace corps volunteer in this country that will be blessed with a toilet inside, hot showers, and a bathtub!

Computers for kids!

To my friends and family, As you know, yours truly has been passing time in a small rural village in El Salvador. What an adventure I'm having!! Hard to believe, I've been here for 9 months. My first 7 months here I lived with a wonderful host family, but didn't have the most ideal living situation (sharing a tiny house with 7 people, a room with no door/no privacy, practically living out of my suitcase, eating beans and rice 3 times a day, a host mom in and out of the mental institution, going to the bathroom in an outhouse full of cockroaches, spiders, and flies,etc.) As much as I didn't mind living "rough", I knew having space and privacy would help my mind, and put me in a better mental space to interact and work more positively with the people here. Oh, how alone time, privacy, cooking healthy food, exercising, and organizing your belongings can do wonders for the mind & spirit. These people have given me so much, even though they have so little. They have allowed for me to grow positively, and to be taught some great life lessons. I'm ready to give back. I am trying to help the school here raise enough money to get 15 computers. I've been helping with some fund-raising, such as making and selling champu de sabila (aloe) with students in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. I hope to also plan some more activities for the future. "Partnership Program" through Peace Corps allows anyone to donate to volunteers projects too. If anyone is interesting in donating money for this project, here is the link: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=519-158 Or from http://www.peacecorps.gov/ --- Go to Donate to Volunteers Projects. Two dollars, twenty dollars, or dos cordas. Any amount helps!! I appreciate it... as well as the 300 students here in this small rural village!! I included some pictures: The community; the school, my new house, and of the future computer lab. The gringa: carrying firewood on my head - no that is not sweat, i was swimming in the lake earlier!, getting the chicken ready for dinner, and milking a cow Photos of some of my projects: my english class, making shampoo, and the 5th grade students writing to their penpals in the states Enjoy! Hope everyone is well. Miss you all!! Gracias again for your generosity. Paz y amor. Jamie