I remember the months leading up to my big departure for El Salvador, people would ask me, "Why did you join the Peace Corps?". I replied with, "Well, why not?" Some liked my response, but I would mostly receive a look of, "I'm going to need a better answer than that." Of course, I can understand their need for a more intelligent answer. I mean, who would give up living in the city with the most options of restaurants west of the Mississippi to eating rice and beans 3 times a day all week long. Who would give up their 2009 Subaru Impreza to stand in the back of a pickup truck with 40 other people driving an hour to buy fruit and use a computer to feel somewhat connected to life back in the United States. Who would give up a house with carpet and animals you can actually touch to a house you don't dare walk on barefoot with animals you don't dare touch (unless its time to kill them for food)? Who would give up a bathroom indoors with a seat you can sit on, to having to squat over a hole in the ground 30 yards from your house? Who would give up nice comfortable couches for plastic chairs? Who would give up a room with a door and all the privacy and space you could ask for, to live in a room with no privacy and not much space, requiring you to still partially live out of your suitcase? What part of going to sleep watching spiders and other bugs crawling on your mosquito net and waking up to all the roosters in Calderitas sounds appealing to anyone? Why would anyone give up a washing machine to come to a place where you spend a morning hand washing your clothes from the past few days? Although I must say I have really learned to love this.
Anyway, after reading Bill Brysons book, "The Lost Continent" (gracias Audra!) it made me miss the states & mostly road trips; the freedom of the great open road, the beauty and diversity of the different landscapes. Of course, this got me thinking about some other stuff: the 4 seasons, and dare I say it; the 20 degree weather, that can be enjoyed best with fireplaces, hot tubs, and warm blankets. I miss the power the mountains have and how much happiness they brought me each time I skied, climbed, or biked through them. I miss that stuff. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my country. I miss the endless options of activities to do. Here my options include hanging out with my "campo" friends, a 5 hour bus ride to see a good volunteer friend and then hang out with her "campo" friends, the beach, or to a club in the capital and spend a ton of money.
I would love to take a hot shower, without having to wear underwear due to lack of privacy. I would love to lie on a couch cuddled in blankets, watching "Scrubs", eating Oreo cookies and milk. I would love to be able to bike into town for some yummy Thai food, and a Blue Moon spending the evening dancing to live bluegrass music. I would love to be able to climb to the top of a mountain and enjoy the breathtaking views the Rockies have to offer. I would love to sit by a fireplace, watching the snowfall, sipping hot chocolate, and talking to friends about where we want to go skiing tomorrow.
As much as I would love to have that, I wouldn't give up this experience for it right now. I can have that in a couple years, AND for the rest of my life. WHY NOT have these experiences first? I will only appreciate that stuff so much more. I am happy here. I love this place. My "campo" friends actually asked me if I was this happy and smiled this much when I lived in the states. Then it got me thinking of whether I AM happier here, then when I lived in the states? I was not able to answer that question. It's a different kind of happiness. I am very happy here, but for a number of reasons much different to when I lived in the states. To begin, I'm happy that I learned Spanish and can speak in a different language. That's cool! I believe I can successfully complete my projects, and provide my community with new things. I'm learning a new culture & new things each week. My heart & mind are growing everyday (and I love feeling how much I changed already), but I think what brings me the most happiness here is seeing just how content everyone around me really is with what little they have. As I'm writing this blog, I'm looking at my family members surrounding their grandmother or mother in the hammock, talking, laughing, and enjoying the presence of each other. They have been there for the past 2 hours. The other little children from my family are having the time of their lives being creative with the items I threw in the trash the day before. (As a side note, my host sisters fight over who gets the last couple swallows of my milk when I'm done with my cereal each morning. A quote I enjoyed from Bill Bryon's book, "In America you are considered poor if you don't have a car with automatic windows or a refrigerator that makes your own ice cubes."
Anyway, the response I gave those people that wouldn't take "Why not" for an answer... " I want to simplify my life. I really want to live like a person in a developing country. I really want to feel and go through what they go through. I really want to see and understand that you don't need a lot of "stuff" to be happy."
I think it’s safe to say I found what I was looking for.