Traveling has started out as a
way for me to know the unknown; to be blown away by the beauty of the world’s
jungles, deserts, canyons, and mountains. My journey across three continents
has turned more and more into a journey into the self. My motive for traveling went
from wanting to know the unknown to wanting to know the knower. Who are we? What is the meaning to this strange, bizarre
yet fascinating existence?
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Rishikesh - along the banks of the Ganges |
All of my paths have led me to India; a place that took my idea of self,
consciousness, and ‘our true human potential’ to another level. It was there
where I was sent to a place to the depths of my being; far beyond my mind, my
senses, and my current understanding of the world.
India; a land full of extremes; inspiring and
frustrating, clear and confusing, holy and unreliable, calm and disorderly,
chaotic and peaceful, mysterious and familiar. All
you can do is 'go with the flow' and embrace India's unpredictability. And when
you least expect it you are placed in moments full of power to alter the way
you view the world and your place in it.
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A man selling flowers for the Ganga Aarti - the nightly act of placing prayer candles in the river as part of the worship |
In the resurrection of my
memory I often find myself along the banks of the Ganges River sipping a cup of
chai. It is there I sit, admiring the people that have all gathered to this
holy river.
People all around;
Washing
away their sins.
Filling
their empty jugs with drops of salvation
Rinsing impurities out of their colorful
saris.
Splashing innocence on to each other
I sit back and watch dead
bodies cremate over an open fire; the smell of burnt flesh lingering in the
air.
Streets are shared by both the
people and the cows. Barefooted children with their arms outstretched begging for change. Monkeys jump from rooftop to rooftop taking my bag of
bananas with them. Hari Krishna, Hari Hari … the sound of the flute filling
people’s hearts with love, peace, and joy. Swamis are joined together chanting in the
ashrams Ohm namah shivaya… Monks sit cross-legged in a temple; prayer beads
in one hand…
All of these sights and sounds
are slowing fading…
But of course, a part of India will always
remain embedded in my heart.
India, and all of my prior
paths in life have all led me back home; to that of my true nature.
India may have helped show me
this place, but I don’t need to go 7,000 miles away to get back there.
The truth is not found along the banks of
the Ganges River.
Eternal love isn’t just a concept in the
holy books.
The wisdom isn’t only in the words spoken
from the Dalai Lama
The answers aren’t inside the Golden Temple.
The divine isn’t buried under the heaps of
snow in the depths of those towering snowcapped Himalayans.
Yeah, it’s there. But it’s here
too.
It’s everywhere you go and in
everything you see.
It’s the only constant in this
ever so constantly changing world.
It's the divine energy that flows through the hearts of every being on this planet.
The place that was once so brightly lit in
India is slowly beginning to dim as I enter back into a busy society. A society
that is always about quick satisfaction, instant relief, and distractions. A
place that has people constantly looking outward for something that can only be
found inward. All it takes is attention and intention. All it takes is body
and breath.
Since returning home, I have
begun going to church every day…
On my yoga mat; a place where I’m
not just told to be a good person, but a place that turns me into one. Through the practice of yoga, the mind, body and self are stilled.
Each movement sheds a layer of your egocentric existence allowing you to
soar in to the depths of your being. It opens the doors for you to return to you true
nature; Yoga is, by definition, a ‘communion with God.’
Each breath in spirals me
inward
Closer to my true source
With each breath out, I shed a
layer;
A layer of what life has piled
on top of me through the years
Layers of distractions,
expectations, judgments, and attachments
Bit by bit.
Layer by layer
I’m pulled in closer…
Religion has never told me to
empty the mind or to see the human body as a means of connecting to and coming
to know the divine; Therefore, I have moved my church from that of inside an
institution to that on my yoga mat; Why must I listen to someone else’s
experiences, when I can have my own?
At the end of each practice,
I pray. Or rather, I listen. I
meditate. I go within and I wait for the answers.
Because how can you talk to
something that is already inside of you?
My ego always tries to interfere,
Thoughts
always try to interrupt
That relentless chattering of
thoughts
I’m not them. I’m the awareness
behind them
Those thoughts are not judged,
changed, or suppressed
They are observed and I allow
for them to continue on their journey in this universe.
Anxiety slips out of my body
Fear is replaced by love.
I free myself from imaginary
needs and desires
I’m cut loose from those identifications
I have made of myself
And those that others have made
for me.
I’m not an American. I’m not a
teacher. I’m not 30.
I’m not Jamie.
I’m not that.
I’m not my thoughts, or my
identities.
I’m an illumined soul;
A being of light.
I am that.
The chains that have kept me
tied to this physical world are now set free allowing me to soar to the depths
of this magical, enchanted place of constant bliss and eternal love that lies
deep within.
A place more magnificent and gigantic than our small minds can comprehend.
I am that. You are too.
Eternal magnificent light beings
Omnipresent souls floating about in this
interconnected web in an infinite universe
Yoga helps define myself
internally with a higher entity. We are all just manifestations. We don't know
it with our rational mind but we can feel it intuitively. It’s about disciplining
the mind, so you feel more in tune. Yoga
helps me remove layers of my egocentric existence so there is more space for the
world around me; other people, animals, plants, and of course God.
This is what yoga and
meditation mean to me.
It is not turning the temperature up to 100
degrees while listening to some new age spirituality music. It is not about
pushing your body so it can stretch further than the girl next to you. It is not about holding on. You have to let
go to receive it all.
-------
I drink kale smoothies
I’m a vegetarian… 90% of the
time.
I recite mantras to my favorite
Hindu deity.
I can’t shut the hell up about
India.
I wear mantra beads
And I have a lotus flower
tattoo.
On the outside I’m that stereotypical
‘spiritual’ kind of person
On the inside I am you. You are
me.
What spirituality means to me
is that…. it’s not about me.
It’s about you. I do what I do for you. I am what I am for
you.
Because the deeper my
spirituality, the brighter that light, the stronger the energy is that connects my souls to yours. Your interests are linked with
my interests. Your happiness and suffering I take on as my own.
Life is a series of trials and
errors. I never imagined I’d be this
‘yogini’ kind of gal, but it’s the best lifestyle I have found that has worked
for me to bring the most amount of inner peace so that I have more tolerance,
patience, and compassion for the world around me.
I’m not saying everyone should
meditate and do yoga (although it would solve a lot of issues we have with
ourselves and others) It’s about finding what works for you; to help you be the
best person that you can be. It’s about finding a path of passion and authenticity
to help connect you and remember where you came from. Take a walk in the woods; with the only sound
being that of your own breath and the twigs crunching below your feet. Play in
your garden. Walk barefoot in the grass. Watch a sunset. Dance. Take time for yourself
to help you feel more centered and grounded so that you can live more outside
of yourself. Do whatever it is to help you live more fully in the present moment. This is where the truth resides.
Be good to one another. It’s
not just about being kind, but being genuinely interested in one another’s
life. Be open to listen with an open mind and an open heart to what the other
has to say about their philosophies, ideas, dreams, and interests.
If you do want to give yoga and
meditation a try- begin by treating these ancient practices with an open mind
and open heart. Most importantly; don’t focus on the end result. Be here now.
Don’t expect your mind to be disciplined overnight. You certainly aren’t going
to get anywhere if you think life is meant to be perfect. If you think
happiness is the goal then you are in for a disaster as well. It’s about going
with the flow of the universe. Ride the wave where it takes you (Thank you
Pearl Jam)
The minute you stop looking for
something and slowdown is when you will receive it. Slow down and simplify. Overcome
your fear of self & go inward :)
Life’s been a journey. I will
still continue to fight those demons, dance with the devil, and fail many more
times than I’d like. I will continue to
take loads of risk and set myself up for some serious challenges. Because I know all of that is what makes you
grow. What I have learned most about
life, I have learned through my challenges, my struggles, my pain, my failures,
and my own intuition.
On that note, Next week, I will
be participating in a 10 day silent meditation retreat.
Ah, wish me luck!!
=)
“What you are, the world is.
Without your transformation, there is no transformation of the world.”
-
Jiddu
Krishnamurti